After extensive research studying the behavioral patterns of a large sample of TVB fans, scientists have managed to identity seven categories fans can be divided into:
01. The Walking Encyclopedia
Often seen buried under piles of weekly entertainment magazines and newspapers or falling asleep in front of the computer, the Walking Encyclopedia is an intelligent being with the capacity to memorize all past and current events. Finally recognized for their unique abilities, the Encyclopedias have now been recruited by the dominant television company. In fact, each producer is now assigned his/her very own human compendium.
02. The Questionable Supporter
Members of this category only watch TVB productions to learn how to read, write, and listen to Chinese, and for delicious eye candy; script and characterizations are insignificant considerations. They are vulnerable to exposure when asked to name the actors/actresses of the royal TVB family or to write the traditional Chinese titles of series. Lather, rinse, and repeat.
03. The Sensitive Soul
With boxes of extra-soft tissues resting safely on an end table, the Sensitive Soul is ready to conquer the woeful world of TVB dramas. Blessed with superior empathic powers, the Soul vicariously experiences a myriad of emotions. Tragic characters such as Yun Fok from Where the Legend of Begins and Xiao Feng from Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils are returning clients.
04. The Bum
The Bum is an extremely seclusive creature residing in the basement of its abode, and only crawls out every six hours to excrete wastes and replenish nourishment. Its primary weapon is the infrared remote control which it handles with supreme button-pressing skills.
Due to the anti-social nature of the Bums, membership numbers remain at dangerous levels. Unfortunately, efforts to accelerate mating have failed. Some researchers urge luring them out by waving genuine DVD copies of classic TVB series. Preliminary trials with The Return of the Condor Heroes (1983) and The New Heavenly Sword & Dragon Sabre (1986) have yielded a success rate of 92%.
05. The Overly Protective
These fans do not accept any form of criticism directed at their favorite artist without a fight to the death. Attempt to defend yourself and prepare for a malicious cycle of demands of justification/references, name-calling, and questions. If you can not beat them, simply let them walk all over you – if performed quickly and correctly this move may allow you to escape alive but scarred for life.
06. The Super Fan
Super Fans are a populous breed of fans known to be exceptionally obedient, loyal, and dependable. They display unconditional support to their masters in all endeavors pursued. It matters not if the talents required to do so are lacking, as blind devotion is exactly what it takes to be “real” fans. Naturally, Super Fans are prone to cooperate with the Overly Protective in condemning and chastising those deemed unworthy of service.
07. The Missing Blogger
Whether due to plain laziness or obligations in his/her personal, school or work life, the Missing Blogger is unable to make frequent updates. If the Blogger is ever observed writing two successive posts, lift your head high to see one-winged pigs soaring across the green skies. Interestingly, the rate at which the Blogger continues to place his/her site on hiatus is inversely proportional to the rate at which the popularity of said site declines. Classic example: Yours Truly.
Which type of TVB fan do you identify with? Have any friends as described above? Discover any new categories? Post a reply sharing your findings!
